Forgive them … For they know not what they do…
How To Forgive
As we know, everything begins with a thought and many of the behaviors we have built up over lifetimes become an automatic defense mechanism which can weigh us down with guilt, sadness, anger and frustration, leading us away from the freedom and love our souls are striving for, and placing us in our own self-created prison.
Making a decision is what makes us human. As intelligent beings, we have the freedom of choice and we live with the consequences of these choices. Most people don’t realize that they are 100% responsible for their lives – the good the bad and the ugly. As one of my beloved teachers would often say “Life is a choice. You can choose to be in the box or on the box. Slavery or Freedom!”
One of the hardest decision that we ever have to make as intelligent human beings is the decision to forgive. You see, we have a lot invested in holding grudges or blaming somebody else for our messed up lives – let alone forgiving ourselves for what we have created. That would mean admitting that all those dramatic poor-me stories that you have gotten so much mileage from over the years will have to go – And what do you replace them with if you have closed down your heart?
The Victim and the Martyr at the root of generations
Has filtered through the ages and has spread throughout the nations.
To violate what we create with our imaginations
And cause confusion to be joined
With anger and frustrations. – Jyoti Eagles.
In fact, our world economy relies heavily on this victim mindset. Insurance companies, Lawyers, Doctors, the drug companies, religions, police and the defence forces and of course our beloved governments. It is the mesh of the matrix. And the media helps spread this epidemic by encouraging revenge and retaliation and separateness.
We put our children in front of movies, computer games and even cartoons to fire up this desire for retribution and retaliation. Kill or be killed. Dog eat a dog. Their little imaginations run rampant with this stuff, programming them with fear and murderous thoughts and the feeling that they are not safe in this world. Every now and then our children let off steam by slamming doors, breaking things, rebelling. As adults, we smash each other or the more sensitive ones turn to drugs and violence and a criminal lifestyle.
We are taught that forgiveness and compassion are signs of weakness and we guard our victim hood with utter determination. If we lose it what do we have left?. How do we justify our righteous anger? Our entire lives in some cases? We mistake the adrenaline buzz that being a victim induces as power, and better to blame somebody else or something else for our circumstances rather than take responsibility.
I’m not saying that there aren’t some genuine victims out there. Just by being in the wrong place at the wrong time people fall victim to circumstantial and natural disasters and their suffering is enormous. And I’m not negating the real suffering of people who are abused and violated in unthinkable ways, but our refusal to forgive is a second injury that we do to ourselves after the first wound.
Our refusal to forgive hurts us, not them. Why give them that power?
Forgiveness has become a lost art, a philosophical abstraction. It is something we must beg for and the perpetrator must pay for with endless suffering and retribution. Not forgiving also has consequences – it is what has led us to our current victim consciousness and prolonged suffering. It is also the root of future wrongdoings. Forgiveness breaks the chain of abuse. It is not only a kindness that you give to yourself, it is a gift to the next generation who don’t need to suffer because of our lack of insight or maturity. © Jyoti Eagles