Spiritual Love In Relationships
Spiritual Love Connection. The key to nature is always balance and we on planet earth are required to walk a fine line for our very survival. As a species we are not that well designed to survive the sometimes harsh forces of nature, so, with our superior intelligence, we have devised various complicated methods of supporting each other in a convoluted system of community and family.
Is It Spiritual Love?
I say convoluted because although we deeply depend on these structures and each other for our survival we still seem to think of ourselves as separate from each other. Co-dependency has become a dirty word, a relatively new label created by today’s mental health analysts to categorise what is seen as unacceptable human behaviour.
It is almost expected that most people will have more than one marriage these days as one in two ends up in the divorce court leaving a trail of closed hearts and shattered lives. Our core desire is to love and be loved, yet our separateness has deemed us incapable of loving ourselves or each other enough to take responsibility for our physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual needs.
When we reach out for help in today’s society these needs are dealt with as a physical imbalance. Our spiritual love confusion has provided a fertile environment for the pharmaceutical companies to take advantage of our powerlessness and create the now multi-billion dollar worldwide business in psychotropic medications. Ironically, it is probably the very same people who were behind our deliberate dumbing down who are now demanding to be the exclusive dealers of the planet and care less about the resulting suffering and suicides and deformities that these drugs have been proven to cause. As I see it the main cause of our confusion is that most people’s spiritual centre is dead.
During the last few centuries, mankind has been transiting a period of externalising our spirituality rather than taking personal responsibility for the fact that there is a divine spark within each of us, which gives us the power to co-create our reality and connects each and every one of us to the universe and each other. Our focus has been on our physical survival as we have been conned into thinking we are powerless and separate.
If we look at nature we notice, for example, that a grove of Aspen trees appears to be growing as individuals, but on a closer look, the roots are all connected and dependent on each other – as are we. In the Druid Ogham lore, Aspen is associated with conquering fear and telepathy. It is ruled by the element Air.
Spiritual Love Connection
As a species, we are all psychic and telepathic by nature. We are connected by invisible airwaves called memes which carry world-views and thought-forms which have a profound influence on our subconscious and our daily lives. We may each have an individual personality and qualities which we contribute to the whole but, as they say, it is the sum of the parts that make us greater than the whole.
A prominent psychologist called Abraham Maslow identified three basic needs that must be met in order for us to achieve wellbeing and happiness in our lives. These are the need for security, connection and autonomy. He says if these are not met our relationships are bound to fail. Unfortunately, as the universe is constantly re-adjusting itself to reflect what is going on in our sub-conscious our outer world reflects our confused state of mind.
Security in relationships ensures the survival of the species. It is basically related to reproductive success. Men, however, have a primal urge to spread their seed to ensure this survival, whilst women seek genetic superiority to assure a strong and healthy bloodline. Their basic instincts differ in so much as primarily a man is driven by a need to provide and protect the family from external threats and a woman’s role is ideally to provide emotional support and nurturing.
In today’s society, we are leaning towards the truthful recognition that both the feminine and the masculine principles must be represented in the healthy individual, but we still carry the same genetic imprint on a basic cellular level of our Palaeolithic fore-bares. It is the same DNA that drives us today. Some stay-at-home Mum’s are placed in a position of great vulnerability where she is dependent on her partner for sustenance and safety and unhealthy co-dependency can develop rather than inter-dependency.
In an interdependent relationship, each individual is mutually dependent on the other and may be emotional, economically and morally reliant on and respond to each other. Co-dependent relationships exist when one partner takes responsibility for the other – usually by control and manipulation – destroying itself-confidence and worth and demanding compliance and submissiveness. It never works.
A stable family and supportive community provides offspring with a greater chance of survival and emotional well-being. Functional family and community not only provide the basic needs of safety, shelter and food, they also satisfy the second need for connection and meaningful bonding with others.
The third need in Maslow’s list is autonomy. To be autonomous is to be one’s authentic self. To be sufficiently in touch with one’s true nature and to be able to express that Self, free of any external manipulation. This is satisfied in a community by acknowledging and engaging in whatever unique skill we have to contribute to the whole and to each other.
Marriage is for the mature. Successful relationships require two people capable of this kind of autonomy. When two people love each other it is normal for them to feel attached and to want to be near each other. That’s not co-dependency. It is only natural to be concerned for each other and to depend on each other.
Their lives are intertwined and they are affected by and need each other. But if one person is psychologically and spiritually immature then they need to clean up their act. Both parties need to be self-responsible, trustworthy and compassionately loving. Autonomy allows for power to be shared equally, giving the relationship and each other more freedom by showing mutual respect and support for each other’s personal growth and goals, with an underlying commitment the relationship and each other.
Our commitment must be to truth and to love and to our spiritual centre before anything or anyone else, as freedom and autonomy is our birthright – not the right of anyone or anything outside of us. © Jyoti Eagles