Eye Of My Storm Personal Development

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Spiritual Mandala
Personal Development

Self Awareness

Most of us are brought up to believe our actions define our reality.  Work hard, party harder and love like there is no tomorrow and you will be happy.  But recent research and a spiritual shift have us realizing that it’s actually our inner thoughts that shape our lives and our reality.

The internet is flooded with videos of how certain words, said with the right intentions, can either encourage growth or kill plants.  They can form beautiful snowflakes or create an angry undefined mess.  Dr Masaru Emoto pioneered these studies.

While in theory, changing our inner dialogue to something positive sounds easy.  There are countless self-help “experts” and workshops, websites and books, that promise to get you on the right track.  In practice, I’m finding it one of the most difficult challenges in my life.  And I know I’m not alone in that regard.

2013 was a hell of a year for me and 2014 looks to be pretty slow going as well.  Last year, I opened and closed a clothing store, my best friend and I parted ways, I became quite ill and am still feeling the effects of it and my marriage is spiraling in a direction that can only be considered bad.  I have been job seeking for 5 months with absolutely no luck.  As a result my self-esteem is at an all-time low, I have gained weight and my happy, perky demeanor has gone down the drain with my confidence.

My internal dialogue is horrifying.  To say the thoughts in my head out loud would leave someone else a sobbing mess on the floor.  I have never directed such scathing and hateful words towards anyone, not even towards someone I really dislike.  Yet, on a daily basis, I repeat these thoughts to myself over and over again.

And to follow millions of other people and turn myself into a walking cliché, I’ve decided, I’ve had enough.  It’s time to pick up all the pieces and try putting them all back together in a different order.  Something new and exciting and most importantly, find a new glue that is strong enough to hold them all together for a long time.

So, by now, you have all realized, (obviously) I’m not OK.  The one thing that keeps me going is the fact that one day (soon hopefully) I will be.
I’m embarking on a journey of spiritual growth, self-awareness and understanding with the goal of happiness at the end.  And I would like to share it with all of you.  Deep down (way down, buried somewhere yet to be discovered) I know I can achieve this.

Today’s Goal:  Find my creativity and make something. (It’s been months since I created something and that’s a large part of who I am.  I’m an artist.)   And, do the dishes.

This week’s goal:  Re-read all the articles on Thrive On News and discover some inspiration and truth within them.  (And hopefully a starting point, like meditation.  I know it’s a cliché to say start with our articles, but it’s a starting point, and a damn good one.) – Angela Soya